I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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