I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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