How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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