Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize