I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
