Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
