I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
