So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
