So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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