Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just cropdusted the office
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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