If i come over, it means nothing
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
