you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
