id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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