If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
