There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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