The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
