Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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