Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize