Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Randomize