he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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