The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
