But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
