FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize