Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
