you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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