You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
