I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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