I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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