Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize