she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
