Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
