who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
