You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
