at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize