Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
