so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
