God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
