you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
