dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
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