I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
