Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
