wrigley field is MILF paradise
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
