I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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