I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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