You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
