Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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