I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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