i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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