Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I can't put those talents on a resume
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize