i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
