guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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