Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
