this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
