As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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