Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
