mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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