I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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