My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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