Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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