if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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